First World Problems (FWP)

Verse 1
What’s on the menu tonight?
Which goes best Red or white?
And for after’s swipe left or right?
Keeping up with trends
This endless choice of designer ware
Wi-fi lag makes me despair
Cars parked without care
No likes from Facebook friends

Chorus 1
Let me tell you my FWP
Things that drive me drive crazy, that shouldn’t be
Trivial things that matter
Predicative text, getting me stressed
Exercise apps that leave me vexed
A waistline that is getting fatter

Verse 2
Gloss paint that dries more matt
Being delayed by checkout girl chat
Fully charged but the batteries flat
It’s not written on the tin
Wrong coloured shade in my hair
Broken pull ring and a wobbly chair
A blue steak arriving a smidgen rare
People with a stupid grin

Chorus 2
Let me tell you my FWP
Things that drive me drive crazy, that shouldn’t be
I know you share my pain
Flat white, latte, caffeine choice
That Kuenessberg woman’s annoying voice
Weather worthy of disdain

Middle 8
No Green & Blacks during lent
The Gmail draft that should of sent
Clock that tick but not tock
The Ebay Rolex turns out mock

Verse 3
Takeaway curries with too much spice
With the added insult of overcooked rice
The Satnav button I need to push twice
Trendy cocktail a tad too chilled
Squeaking hinges, a complex remote
Stocks and shares that fail to float
Lefty politicians wanting my vote
Blockbuster, but I’m not thrilled

Chorus 3
Let me tell you my FWP
Things that drive me drive crazy, that shouldn’t be
Scooter noise disturbing my sleep
Call center countdown in the queue
Tea that’s weak and not left to brew
Meaning, that is way too deep

Chorus 4
Let me tell you my FWP
Things that drive me drive crazy, that shouldn’t be
Rude waiters on vacation
Financial advisors’ telling me lies
Not being able to get my highs
First world frustration

First World Problems (FWP)

Definition: a usually minor or trivial problem or annoyance experienced by people in relatively affluent or privileged circumstances especially as contrasted with problems of greater social significance facing people in poor and underdeveloped parts of the world.

I really enjoyed doing the lyrics for this song. Like many, I get wound up and obsessed about trivial things. When the presence of mind returns I realise that I have nothing to be concerned about in comparison with probably most on humankind. Most of my frustration is caused by self-inflicted ego. We shouldn’t take what we (think we) have for granted as the universe or an act of god, man or just bad luck can take everything away in an instant. It was written during the seemingly endless post Brexit moaning period and Laura Kuenssberg gets a special mention.